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24 June 2009

Yes, Relationships Can Last

When you are in a relationship, there is no doubt, you will have your share of heated conversations, long-playing arguments, or(to some) bloody fights. It's as real as the sun rises and sets everyday. Or as certain as birthdays and deaths.

Like any other couple or relationship, me and my girlfriend have our own share of these-- not on the bloody fights though(see me still crossing my fingers?). And I believe there will still be more to come and shake us. As much as I understand that we have to go through these challenges to see how far our feelings for each other would see us through, I admit that it every occasion really saddens me. It could even leave us with our day ruined.

Knowing that this is real and present in every normal relationship, the best way (just my opinion) in dealing with it is to try to understand why it happens and then learn how to face it or sometimes avoid it. But this should not give the idea that these suggestions will show results overnight. It can be a lot of work, you know. But if you can't spare that amount of effort to begin with then I don't think you have any reason why you should bother at all.

One important factor to consider is that a relationship can't work if only the other would bother making it work. The other might be able to make it work for some time but the relationship will eventually crumble. It's like standing only with one leg; you can only keep the balance for a moment.

So I did some researching, actually I was just browsing the net, and found some tips on how to make a relationship last. They can be helpful for you and your relationship(s) but, hey, it can work differently with others.
So let me share these suggestions I grabbed from Yahoo.com:
1. Keep the lines of communication open. If you don't know how to express your feelings and/or have poor listening skills, learn to get better at both. You can read a book, take a class, or get into counseling. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen.

2. Don't sweep your fights under the rug and think they'll magically resolve themselves. Do your best to resolve your first argument as soon as it arises so you won't have the same argument for the next 50 years, in different forms.

3. Remember that you love your partner; therefore, you want the best for her/him. Give her/him the benefit of the doubt when you feel angry, hurt, or disappointed. Talk to your partner; don't make assumptions.

4. Don't take your partner for granted. Tell your partner every day something you appreciate about her/him and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

5. Your partner should never feel like your enemy. If they do, something is wrong; remember that you fell in love with this person. If there's so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help somewhere as quickly as possible.

6. Gauge your relationship . Notice and don't ignore the warning signs if you're not talking, you're less affectionate, you're fighting all the time, and you're not happy. The sooner you acknowledge you're having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them.

7. Always remember that you have the power to change behaviors in your relationship through different tools of self-discovery. You don't have to stay stuck in unhealthy ruts.
Good, lasting relationships are made up of two conscious individuals who have the desire to work on themselves with the determination to stay focused on the importance of their relationship. They do not take their partner for granted. They have their partner's best interest at heart and, therefore, build trust with their partner.

When arguments come up, they don't ignore them. They address the issues and try to resolve them. When they see warning signs that their relationship could be in trouble, they act immediately and look for new ways to relate to each other.This can be accomplished by anyone who is willing to take the time and energy to make their relationship a priority in their life. Nurture your partnership as it so richly deserves! You can live happily ever after, not with magic, but with work, awareness, and knowledge of yourself and your partner.

***

Being in a relationship is never easy. Be worried if you're in a relationship and it seemed like just walking in the park for you both. But I'm not suggesting you fight, alright? Let challenges come and face them TOGETHER.

So goodluck. Remember, it doesn't work overnight.

2 comments:

  1. Ang ganda naman ng mga tips na ito. This is something that I'll always bear in mind and this definitely applies not only in boy-girl relationship but also in other relationships that we have with other people.

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  2. I'm glad find it helpful. salamat din sa pagbabasa ha. actually, hindi ko pa din na-perfect tong mga tips dito pero good thing, they actually work. tiyaga lang tlaga siguro.

    salamat ulit.

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